November 30, 2011

Til Death Do Us Part...

Anne and I will be married 45 years on December 6th. She had just turned 16 and I was 19. Honestly, as I look back and reminisce I must admit we had no clue what we were doing. We were just ‘in love’. So how did we stay the course for almost 45 years? I think it was love but not the kind of love we read about in romance novels rather the kind of love that is described in the Bible. Love is more than a feeling because feelings change. Anne and I have not always felt in love or felt like we wanted to remain married. Love is a choice. Love has to do with the will. We must love when we don’t feel like it because this is what God requires. This is real love.

We don’t feel we are better than others in the marriage arena. We’ve had our ups and downs, our sharp disagreements. Yes, we have allowed the sun to go down on our anger as well as come up while we were still angry. Maybe we’ve stayed married because we were both to proud and stubborn to leave or quit. We had 3 wonderful children and they deserved better than us giving up or just quitting.

I know a little about young love and romance. Through the years in ministry I have learned about covenant. I know which one is most likely to last. Romance so often is seen in the phrase “as long as,” while covenant is ‘until”.

If you know me, then you know this is not written to belittle anyone who has experienced the hurt and pain of divorce. It’s about how it takes God, and two people who are willing to hang in there when the going get rough. Hopefully, wherever you are in your marriage relationship you will allow God’s love to prevail in your heart, and keep choosing in the hard times to will it so. We are but one of many testimonies that declare you can make it.
Thanks for rejoicing with us.