July 30, 2010

"My Dad Wouldn't Help Me!"

My son who pastors Christian Fellowship Church in McAllen Texas sent me the introduction to one of his messages a few weeks back entitled, "My Dad Wouldn't Help Me!" I thought I would print it before I shared with you the follow-up message I preached one week later when I was the speaker there.

"My Dad Wouldn't Help Me!"

I called my dad the other day and reminded him of some stories in our past, and I told him I was thinking of a message about problem solving called “My Dad the Problem Causer”. We had a good laugh, and we agreed that the title needed some fine-tuning.

I think we have all heard the phrase “They’re a real problem solver.” That term is used a lot in business, and it refers to someone who has the ability to take complex and personal situations and work out solutions that achieve that groups agenda and in most cases salvages every ones feelings.

Problem causer or problem solver? But that’s not really the right question, because I don’t know of a good father who “causes” problems for their children.

However, I can tell you from my own experience that a good father will allow his children to be smack dab in the middle of a crisis and not solve their problem for them.

So I’ve fine-tuned my title. It’s not “My Dad the Problem Causer”, it’s “My Dad Wouldn’t Help Me”.

And listen, it’s not because he couldn’t help me, there were times in my life when my dad could have fixed my problem. There were, and are, times in my life where my father could solve my problems. My father is one of those people; he’s a problem solver! And a very good one.

But my Dad didn’t use his problem solving skills to solve my problems. My dad used his problem solving skills to solve his problems. He knew that if he solved all my problems and the problems of everyone else that came to him, that his problem solving skills would increase and that theirs/mine would never develop.

One time when I was about 17 our church in Harlingen, where I grew up, had an outreach. We went to a city park and had a church service with the people in the city. I had a little Nissan pickup so that afternoon I helped transport the PA system to the park....... It was a great message. Basically he stated that it's not good for parents to always rescue or fix their children's every problem. But rather teach them to solve problems and take responsibility.


Mary Primm said...

What a great Dad! I feel that our society is creating a generation of those who are somewhat "handicapped" because they never have to solve their own problems. There is quite a difference between loving and supporting an adult child and fixing everything for them or bailing them out. To me it is the old image of the butterfly coming out of the cocoon...they need to struggle to strengthen those wings. If we pull them out, we "cripple" them.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I was thinking the same thing. What a great dad. Ha!