To become all God intended us to be, we need to grasp that, in God's eyes, we're OK. He is not mad and holding our sins against us. A New Testament writer by the name of Paul wrote these words found in 2 Corinthians 5:19-20 "For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
We really are loved, accepted and forgiven. Nothing we can do will improve upon what he has done for us thru Christ. Once we get this, then we're most qualified to join him in his reclamation effort.
I quote from Henri Nouwen who says it so well: "As long as we are not fully convinced that we have been reconciled with God, accepted by God, and that we are forgiven, we continue to create divisions among people because we expect from them a healing power they do not possess. Only when we fully trust that we belong to God and can find in our relationship with God all that we need, can we be truly free and be ministers of reconciliation. This is not easy; we readily fall back into self-doubt and self-rejection. We need to be constantly reminded that we are indeed reconciled."
To the degree that we accept that through Christ we ourselves have been reconciled with God and accepted by Him we can be messengers of reconciliation for others. So to love with God’s love you have to love yourself. To forgive you have to know you have been and are forgiven. Therefore, one has to know they have been reconciled to God and fully accepted by him if they are to enjoy life and bring others to this wonderful place.